Get Informed

I am not qualified to speak on the subject of intimate partner violence. Perhaps through more ardent study and self-reflection, I will be able to someday say otherwise.

But for now, as a first step, the least I can do is share information and resources from more competent sources and voices – resources that others may find helpful now or in the future.

The Hotline


A leading support resource for survivors. Anyone affected by abuse can contact them 24/7 via phone (1-800-799-7233), online messaging, or text message (Text LOVIS to 1-866-331-9474).

Their site also has resources such as how to create safety plans in an unsafe household, a definition and list of abusive red flags, as well as key figures and statistics.

It’s a great starting point for anyone affected (or suspects they are affected) by abuse.

The Facts

Partner abuse is no fringe issue.

85% of partner abuse victims are women. About 3 of 10 women in the U.S. have been on the receiving end of intimate partner violence – an epidemic that’s shown little indication of decline.

The Hotline’s Statistics (Starting Point)

U.S. State-By-State Statistics

Epidemiology of DV

Resources For Men

Organizations dedicated to the safety of women are beyond essential. As mentioned before, 85% of partner abuse survivors are women – which means a majority of perpetrators are men. About 3 of 10 women in the U.S. have been on the receiving end of intimate partner violence.

In other words, about 1 in 5 of men have perpetrated intimate partner violence. (Full Article)

That is an epidemic. And it is on men to use our male privilege to do better.

But before men can advocate, we must learn.

And before men can learn, we must un-learn.

Domestic Violence Myths

We need to consider a more nuanced understanding of abusive relationships.

Definitions, Examples, Red Flags, and Cycles of Abuse

And we must learn how to do better – to actively work on relationship communication and conflict resolution. To work towards healthier, more productive relationships.

More from The Hotline:

Healthy Relationships (Main Page)

Tips for Communication

Healthy Conflict Resolution

It also means more men – especially men in positions of privilege or power – must step up.

Jackson Katz: Violence against womenβ€”it’s a men’s issue

In a blunt, straightforward TED Talk, Katz lays out men’s responsibility in the gender violence epidemic. In short, intimate partner violence is a men’s issue that demands men to hold other men accountable.

How to Fight Toxic Masculinity – Ellen Hendricksen

While the phrase “toxic masculinity” is problematic when considering social and structural institutions that propagate sexism and abuse, Hendricksen does well in this short podcast episode to identify problematic myths around masculinity and suggest how men can question cultural narratives around masculinity and act in small ways to act against pernicious gender myths.

This is far from an exhaustive list, but it is a starting point for men ready to question the cultural myths around masculinity.

Men Engage

An organization that conducts research and symposiums about gender equality with an emphasis on how men perpetuate (and can fight against) structures of gender inequality. As their mission statement reads,

Through our country-level and regional networks, MenEngage seeks to provide a collective voice on the need to engage men and boys in gender equality, to build and improve the field of practice around engaging men in achieving gender justice, and advocating before policymakers at the local, national, regional and international levels.

The Hotline (Again)

If you or someone you know is (or suspects) being in an abusive relationship, and you can find a safe place and time to reach out, The Hotline is is available 24/7 for support.

Phone – 1-800-799-7233

Online Chat

(Click ‘CHAT NOW’ on the upper-right corner.)

Text LOVEIS to 1-866-331-9474